"I noticed your confidence and watched you laugh and longed for that for me. You were strong, you were vibrant and happy. You had passion and purpose and friends galore; why can't that be me? You knew yourself, your dreams and your plans. What has happened to me?
Why do I understand very little of me?
Deep inside this complex form, my 'me' wants to surface but doesn't know how. My 'me' has been trapped, chained like a captured baby animal that watches in awe (and with hidden envy), those around me who have had their 'me' released. Slowly but surely, as I watched with intense pain and deep confusion, their chains came off and wings soar free. Why can't that be me"?
Not too long ago, that person was me and just penning the above stirs deep emotion that is still very tangible. I have since been set free, but am still in the early stages, ready to withdraw, back to that place of chains if the 'outside' becomes too overwhelming.
You see, it has taken me a lifetime (well, half of one at least) to find me. Insecurity, fear, outside influences and overwhelming anxiety held down any chance of me being found. I liked what others liked. I did what others did. I wore what they wore and copied their hair because I was more like a clone than the beautiful, individual me.
Well I have found my 'me'. She is fun and crazy and loud. She loves travelling, the beach and has even discovered she is creative. (Yep, that's my 'me'!) She is passionate and strong and loves speaking out for causes close to her heart. This 'me' of mine has a soft and vulnerable heart; she cries with the broken hearted and is often misunderstood. She is now comfortable choosing her own style, and doesn't shake from the inside when she goes out.
I am proud of my 'me' (I never had any reason not to be)! I believed the lies that I was not good enough, that I talked too much and that everyone was better then me.
Well those lies have lost their power and now I stand stronger. I am with you my girlfriends, the women of this world and I shout out to you all, find your inner me. The real you. The one and only you. There is no other; there cannot be. Denounce those lies and release your wings, spread them wide and soar like you should. Let the wind carry you up so you look down from above, not up from the ground!
You belong in the sky, soaring with eagles!! You are valuable, worthy and beautiful! They were wrong; those nasty and hurtful things they said about you. Let them go, let those words go...throw them out to the wind!! Let the wind carry them out of our atmosphere for there is no place for them here.
Who are you? Who are you really? I cannot wait to see :)